Wow,

Thanks everyone for your responses.

I am not so worried as I am curious. I am me--integrated or not. I THINK but am not sure that self states is similar to ego states. It probably comes out of the school of self psychology of which Kohut was the guiding intellect. Here's a link:

http://www.psychologyoftheself.com/

Orange Blossom, whoa that article could describe me and my childhood--different details, same effect Thanks for the info.

Sunrise--I DO think it's dissociative. I dissociate a lot and in fact, have lost years of my childhood. I actually don't remember any of my teachers from 2nd to 6th grades. I recently went back to my old school and got my report card for those years (yeah, they had the records, amazing huh?) I looked at the report with the teachers' names and I still don't remember them.

I plan on dicussing this with T this week and will report back. sigh.

You know what? I am finally not ashamed that I sleep with a teddy bear. My inner child needs this bear to soothe. She never had one of her own.

sigh.