I had my pdoc appointment. He was not reassuring at all. He said its bad in the ukraine and I asked him if it was the end of the world and he said "I don't know. I know thats not the answer you want to hear but things are bad." My mom called him a total jerk and said its not the end of the world. The Today Show was acting really goofy this morning and wasnt acting like it was the end of the world. He's raising my topamax. He said it will help with my anxiety and moods. I didnt tell him I couldnt eat anything partially because of my anxiety. The increase in topamax will just make me even less hungry. But I'd rather he raise that and me lose weight then be put on something new that causes weight gain. I figured an increase in valium was out of the question and I didn't dare ask. I think he may have known I ditched him and was in a hotel 15 minutes away the way he said I'll see you next time through zoom or in person. He also called my therapist a bigoted prick. Lol.

I'm going out to dinner now. I have a splitting headache and I am starving I've barely eaten today and I havent had anything since 9:30.

But yeah not a very helpful session. The only thing he said about me going off my hormones was "have you considererd the full surgery?" Which is not a question you really ask a trans person. I know none of my other doctors ask it and certainly none of my friends or family ask it.