I am currently in the hotel bathroom sitting on the floor but I can still hear the news. Although I took my first valium really early and my last one late. This last valium seems to be helping. I went out to eat for dinner but I went out to a place I went to shortly before the lockdown and I was really scared then because of covid then and then tonight I was really scared of whats going on now. So the resturant just triggered me I guess. I was able to eat though. My pdoc raised my topamax to 150mil a day. So I guess thats 3 a day instead of 2. Tommorow I plan on doing some more shopping and then I'm going to my aunts for dinner. My therapist told me I need to utilize my support system more. I am not thrilled about getting to her house at 6 when I am normally in bed at 5. But my therapist swears my support system will help me more then she will be able to.