I was really pleased to get my income tax return out of the way early today. It's only the second time i've done it and it didn't go smoothly. I made a false start and i thought i would have to take it to a professional. But i persevered and got back on track and i succeeded. There was a new feature this year and it actually turned out to be easier than last year, so yay for technology. I phoned my one close neighbor to tell her about it and she congratulated me so that was nice. Accounting intimidates me.

But since then i've been plunged into this worst awful boredom. I can't tolerate Scrabble, my soaps or Netflix. I've just been sitting quietly for hour after hour, watching the clock. It's so uncomfortable.

I emailed my doctor who i haven't heard from in 23 days. I know he's been coping with a lot but taking over three weeks to answer an email is unreasonable. I wrote a whiny message but he deserves it so whatever, i'll allow it.

I feel a little better now that i'm off the sofa and in front of my computer. A computer is good company. I'm just gonna zone out here and go to bed early. At least it's dark now. It's more comfortable at home when it's dark out. Daylight just screams, "Come outside! Do stuff! Be active!" But darkness says, "Relax, take it easy."

I somewhat liked it better when i was on more benzos and my hours would get all screwed up in the Winter and i would stay up til 4:00am and sleep til mid-afternoon and not have to deal with the long hours of accusatory daylight. There's nothing to do at night and since i can't tolerate anything it would be better for me to live in darkness.

But now that i've reduced my benzo by 75% i'm awake at 7:00am or 8:00am and uncomfortable all day long. I've applied for a volunteer gig at the hospital near me but they're not taking on anyone new til COVID dies down. I've heard mixed things about volunteering in hospitals anyway.

Tomorrow i have two ZOOM group opportunities so it should be better.

Well, i'm doing better than some on the world stage. There's that.