The most important aspect is that you feel uncomfortable. This will impact on your relationship with her and might render the relationship useless to you - especially if you don't feel comfortable enough to raise the issues with her.

Her speaking about her erotic counter transference would creep me out big time. As others have pointed out, it breaks all kinds of boundaries. It would probably be a deal breaker for me especially if it was newly established therapy.

Personally, her question about when you realised you are gay wouldn't bother me. I would hear it as clumsy and unaware, but I wouldn't take it to heart. It's quite old school thinking and it's doesn't match your experience but sometimes that kind of mismatch can be useful - it provides you with a chance to describe your experience and assert your understanding of self. Although of course you would be doing this in opposition rather than understanding, but again I don't mind that for myself. I am a lesbian if that makes any difference.