Thanks for sharing your story, @SunThief and a warm welcome to the forums! I'm not totally out of the woods (I don't remember the last time I SHed but it's been a while) either, still get urges, but I know now I don't have to act on every urge I get which has helped not just with self harming but also with sticking with my schizoaffective meds, staying clean and sober, and even keeping relationships a bit steadier.