I know it's only been three days, but things seem to have shifted quite significantly, which can only be a good thing, surely. K is less on my mind and I am finding some peace and space inside. I'm not holding out a huge amount of hope about the peace and space lasting, especially if we start to dig deeper, but then what do I know, this is entirely new territory for me. But I am glad that I am no longer feeling that manic searching for something like I was before. It's almost like her being in my head and my heart all the time was telling me to find a way to do this work, and now that I have made a start on that with you, it has led to finding a bit of freedom from her.

To the extent that I am considering the possibility of not reaching out again. Of finding a way to walk away. The only problem with that is that it's Mother's Day here in the UK, and I know I will want to make contact in some way over that time. But maybe that will be a little bit of closure. Who know. I wonder if she would reach out if I didn't?

I guess only time will tell, but this is all feeling a lot more balanced. A lot more rational. A lot less frantic and crazy.