I still have some trouble with the word "trauma" because nearly all of mine was all relational trauma and I feel like none of it was really "bad enough" to "count" (whatever that means!). It's hard to get a handle on how bad something was when your brain tells you that it wasn't that bad and/or that you deserved it. It has been useful for me to see how my T reacts to the whole story and how my friends have reacted to select details that I have shared. It's validating.

I do think trauma therapy is helpful, although it's haaard. Really getting into those core issues can hurt in surprising ways. EMDR has been useful for me to turn down the temperature on some emotions/memories/reactions so I can talk about them more easily without losing my balance too much, but I don't think it's necessary for everybody.

I know exactly what you mean about how certain things keep coming up. Sometimes it's like the work has a mind of its own. For me that's often a sign that I'm ready to go there and that the thing will just keep coming back if I try to push it aside. But it's absolutely up to you to figure out where you want to go and when and how quickly.