You’re right I don’t know the context and it was 100% not my intention to undermine you or negate your experience. I apologize that it came across that way.

I was perhaps reacting to a present day culture of over-parenting children where the type of play you described is actually quite rare. There’s this idea that children need constant attention, with the advent of the use of “parent” as verb has come a notion that children are somehow feral or neglected when given space or independence.

My reaction, while a fair observation in general, may have been wholly irrelevant to your story. I’m sorry if it was.

At any rate I agree that trauma is a lot about what didn’t happen, all the unmet needs, perhaps even more than about what did happen. Trauma isn’t just about events.