Quote:
Originally Posted by Sapien
The thing is I know being with him is stupid but it's all I deserve. Just like I'm going to **** up my sobriety because I'm not a good person. I'm scheduled an appointment with my T next week but it'll be our last telehealth before I see my new T (through telehealth as well) and she's not going to know the background and today was a day of crashing so I don't really expect to have the spoons to explain things to her when I see her.
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I know it’s easier said than done, but please be gentle with yourself. It’s actually quite common for people to date and/or sleep with their abusers after being r***d. For some it’s an attempt to replay the situation, but this time as the person in control. Others don’t know they deserve better (it sounds like you might fall into this category). I’m sure there are other reasons as well. I did the same when I was younger because I didn’t realize I’d been assaulted (I know that sounds kind of stupid).
Of course I don’t think you should date him, because you deserve and CAN get someone who respects and does not abuse you, and I’m worried about your safety, but I also want you to know that I think the decision to date him is about way more than simply poor judgment. I think it’s a trauma response, and I hope your T would see it that way also.
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