I’ve been seeing my therapist for 8 months and not once in that time has he ever asked me about romantic relationships. Due to CSA I am very aversive to relationships and have only had a couple of very short ones and I’m extremely uncomfortable talking about topics relating to it, including sex and any kind of intimacy.
However I’m now finding it really weird that I’ve been in therapy this long and I’ve never been asked a single question about this or any topic that comes close to discussing this kind of thing. It’s really beginning to make me feel like my T thinks I’m so disgusting and repulsive that there would be no way anyone would ever be interested in me so therefore it’s not even worth asking the questions.
It’s not that I want to talk about this part of my life, if he asked about it I probably would just freeze and shut down, it’s not something I would at all be comfortable talking about, and perhaps he’s realised this without actually going there, but it just makes me feel so bad about myself.
I know this is usually a big part of therapy, so to not even broach it once just makes me feel like he doesn’t believe anyone could ever like me or love me. I’m so vile that it wouldn’t even be a possibility that I could have ever had a relationship.
Am I being paranoid or is it genuinely odd that he has never asked a single question about this area of my life?