Woke up scattered and sad with a flood of memory from high school.

I was new at the school and didn't know anyone. I remember having one friend but we weren't particularly close.

In retrospect, when I was in school I was desperately seeking connection but had no idea that I was and no clue how to get it.

When I think about those first two years I have this distinct feeling of being inside myself looking out into the world of the school and people. I was dissociated the entire time I was there. I so badly needed someone to notice me.

After two years at this school my parents couldn't pay the tuition anymore and so I moved on to a public school. Finally, I quit in my senior year. It was the best decision I ever made.