Hi guys, thanks everyone so much for responding! <3 she actually loves cooking and during her visit to me, I saw her cooking quite a lot - she was on vacation and had the time & the motivation to do that. We had an honest talk recently, and she said her mom was making her do all the housework from the age of 6 - and right now the mom is trying to make up for years of hostility and not fully taking care of her in these practical ways.

The situation also made me aware that I have a mentality of proving to people I'm independent and ´adult enough´ since I moved out at 16 and have not had much practical help which I actually really needed!! Somehow convinced myself this was the only way to mature and found myself looking down on people who live with their parents after a certain age or ask for help. SMH all of your comments really shed light on that... so gonna take a closer look at these unhelpful beliefs. All the best to everyone here <3