Dear reader. I am out of energy. Emptied. Drained. I’m trying to recharge myself but it’s on the edge of impossibility. I can’t work tomorrow at work like this. The spring has finally arrived here and that is my very vulnerability. I can try to describe it a bit. It is as if someone hits me with a spear in my head, then slowly rotate it. Then the brain gets some sort brain-freeze through my very eyes and not even my custom shades who were designed to eliminate all sunlight from any possible angle did helped me.

Despite that I had a walk. But I chose deliberately not sunny places, walked in shadows so to speak. Something I’ve learnt during my years of this disease. Hopefully weather will change and I can be outdoors longer periods. Sadly, all of this have negative impact on my sleep as well. On top of this I also have nightmares from my past in Balkans, thanks to Vladimir Putin’s invasion. And, I have a mess at my work with my boss and other people.

I will try to be more active here, dear reader. But when things gets heavy, I usually don’t feel to do anything except be in my couch and watch tv-shows. For a brief moment I imagine myself I’m not even here but somewhere else. That is how things are going with me at the moment. Really, really bad. My psychiatry nurse isn’t seeing me regularly too, I still wait for my psychiatry doctor (waited for two years now). If I hadn’t got my personal doctor from my health centre plus some few others there, I don’t really know how it would end. I’ll try to go with my friend and watch a movie with him at cinema. Read that the new Batman-movie got great critics, so I’ll give it a go.

Take care of you, dear reader. I’ll be soon here again and let you know how things are with me next time too.

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