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Originally Posted by ArmorPlate108
Hmm, those are all good points... I did cbt for very intense anxiety starting about 13 years ago. I used books by a doctor named Claire Weekes. Her work was really helpful to me because she explained a lot of the nuts and bolts of what was going on in my mind and body when I felt anxiety.
What I learned from Dr Weekes was to use a technique where you don't fight instead you give into the anxiety and let it run its course. As strange as it sounds once you let the anxiety run its course you've sort of taught yourself how to process it. And yes you have to do it many many times but it gets better over time. I really recommend any of her books if you can get your hands on them. Just understanding the medical explanation of what my brain and body were doing when I felt this way made a huge difference.
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Thanks much for the recommendation, I've downloaded her book and skimmed it.
It turns out I do have the complicated form of the problem she discusses in the book but I've figured out most of that on my own by now. I just refer to it as some kind of stress/adjustment disorder, except the things I've had to try and adjust to are things most people do not have to deal with so it's hardly a true disorder.
Her book does talk about a version of mindfulness for sure. As far as that, I'll just add this because I'm interested if anyone relates, so her mindfulness mantra is: "face, accept, float, let time pass". And I think my version of acceptance isn't compatible with floating, but is just openness mixed with a sense of control to hold the emotion while it's "on" or move it out of the way so I can keep doing things, but a 10/9 intense emotion is too big for that.
I am not entirely sure anyhow what kind of acceptance this is in any kind of mindfulness. Because for me I could see it as totally soft acceptance making me more sensitive, or it could be just openness where I keep toughness too. And I'm only able to do anything with the latter version.
Anyway, with intense emotions with an intensity over 10/8, I get as far as "face". And "accept" for a second but then I am exhausted from the intensity. Again, my default is, "face", "be open to feeling it", "control". No floating or letting things pass
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You know, it's weird, I don't think I really named the emotions at the time, it was more of just knowing I felt terrible and learning how to relax through it- Dr. Weekes did a good job of explaining that. The funny thing is that the things I'm dealing with now involve me not being able to name emotions... So go figure.... I've been using info from codependent no more where emotions are lumped under a basic four- mad, sad, glad or scared, as a way to begin figuring that out.
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Sounds like alexithymia if you want to look it up. You could also look at emotion wheels if you haven't yet. Especially those ones where they have basic emotions in the middle of the circle, and then other more nuanced emotional states arranged next to them in the outer parts.
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As far as the what is versus what if, I worried a lot about things that might happen. So let's say that I was worried about an appliance breaking and not being able to afford to repair or replace it, I could get very upset about that and even a little obsessive. But the appliance wasn't broken that was a what if. No matter what happened I wouldn't have to deal with that until it was a what is. Does that make any sense? Sorry if that's a lame example.
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Yeah it makes total sense. I do think it helps with emotional control and regulation, being able to see what's realistic. When I can see what the emotional state is about, what it is a reaction to, it increases my sense of control over it. The intense ones I'm referring to, I often don't know what they are about, they are too much in a vacuum, and that's part of the problem. And right, I can't even name them, not even as a basic emotion like the ones you listed. Usually if I identify the reaction, and what it is a reaction to, I already have it decreased in intensity to 10/8 or less, and I can deal with a 10/7 just fine, or even 10/8 as long as it's not going on too long. That is, I've contained the emotional state enough then.