In answer to the question of the post? As long as it takes, and it depends on you and them. It seems to take me forever. I still cannot look at my New T. I won't even turn round if I can help it, so at the moment all she sees is the back of my head! But we do seem to have some sort of a rapport that is keeping us going. Our sense of humour is a little similar at times.

I was with Ex T for 6 years and, like you, still didn't feel comfortable talking about things, so figured this was going to take forever. And it may - but I think that's more to do with the trauma than the rapport? I think? I'm not sure. It's all complicated isn't it.

I decided last week to write down the 'ground zero' and take that in. Little by little, piece of paper by piece of paper I showed her what it was that I think is the root cause of a lot of my stuff, so at least she knows. I guess it can only help in the long run for her to know, but see now I am more vulnerable to attack. Today she used words which are NOT ALLOWED still, and set me off into dissociation. But then, maybe that is a necessary evil here?

Good luck with it all, whether you decide to share or to wait a while. Take care of you.