I've thought more...

What makes me so upset about this pattern and issue is.

These people don't EVER explain why they didn't respond. They just deflect and avoid explaining, worse case they'll lie. So I usually just drop the topic of why they didn't respond.

And if it's about important enough stuff I never had any other idea to do other than just repeatedly try to contact the person after I think enough time passed so it doesn't look like too frequent or like harassing.

And then it drives me mad crazy having to do this after it's already been a pattern especially if it's with someone I care about or like very much.

I mean, having to wait and then having to try again and so on and it's all up in the air and never clear and who knows how long it's gonna go on and ugh. That totally drives me mad frustrated and upset and then I have to really control myself hard to keep that in and not mention to these people how I feel.

If I was to try and have empathy like maybe they got distracted or have trouble with how to communicate, that's just so vague to me because it doesn't solve the issue that these people just somehow decide to ignore my messages even if it's about something actually important or something that I myself would definitely try to answer if they asked me.

And if I tried to empathise like that, that maybe it's them having communication issues, that makes me feel so crap and pulls me down, because it's like putting a burden on myself accommodating for them even more than I've already tried to. And it feels like accepting their bad attitude towards me. Feels like I'd have to accept disrespect. On top of their already upsetting and driving me crazy. I'd rather not feel all that...

So I'm more interested in how to communicate with these people rather than just repeatedly try to ask the same thing over time... If communication can even be done with them when it gets like this.

Anecdote , I once was in a weird mindset and I felt like I was assuming these absurdly nice things like being totally "radically open" to the point of it being absurd asking this guy I mentioned, about why he ignored my texts. And I just tried to have like infinite empathy where I ignored how bad he'd made me feel, and asked in this interested, helpful manner and I tried to disclaim every line of mine to make sure he won't think it's some accusation or questioning him, and he instantly goes like, admitting he "f***ed up". I didn't expect that answer at all.

That guy tried to screw me over really bad in the end, though. He did some really bad things. I no longer talk to him.