I have been observing myself the last week or two and I think I am starting to become a little manic. I asked my kid that if she thought I was becoming manic to say something to me and she told me I will. I am buying a new motorcycle here in the next month or so but that is not one of the reasons I am thinking I am manic cause this was a long term goal. The thing I noticed though is I have spent like $500 on motorcycle upgrades for a motorcycle I don't even own yet lol. I also bought a $600 leather motorcycle jacket. The thing that made me start to think I was manic though is the way I write things out here and other forums. I have noticed my spelling has gotten really bad and sometimes I will write something out and reread it latter and it confuses me at times lol. It is like I am all over the place with the things I write like I will jump from one thought to another and then back to the original thought. I was thinking that it might be from the depression and grief from the death of my wife. I don't remember hardly anything from the first 3 or 4 months after she died and my memory has been real spotty even after that time. The thing is that I have noticed is I have been doing and have been able to stop certain things. Like I noticed I was spending a good amount on my credit card and I figured that out like the middle of last week and I was able to stop spending money on my credit card and I went back to just my normal spending money habit no problem. The thing about the stuff that I bought for the motorcycle is stuff I was originally going to buy anyways the leather jacket well I look real good in it lol. I don't know what is going on with me I have been in a daze since my wife died and I am really confused. I'm not trying to justify the money I spent but then again maybe I am lol. Thanks for reading this I greatly appreciate it.

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