Thread: Any insight?
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Old Mar 09, 2022, 04:21 AM
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qwerty68 qwerty68 is offline
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Location: Best Coast
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gawain View Post
I kept waiting for the part where she would start asking for money in some form or another, I'm actually really surprised that never happened, because a lot of he behavior, how quickly the relationship got off and your comments about your perceived self worth really made it seem like you were a classic victim for a romantic scam.

But if there truly has not been any attempt at it for so long then I'd hazard to guess she's has some mental issues, possibly serious ones if she sent you a message hinting at possible suicide, and she connected with you for whichever reason but she's nowhere near stable to have anything even resembling a healthy relationship or perhaps even friendship.

Honestly, if I was in your shoes, I'd treat her existence as a sort of. how could I call it?, a box of surprises perhaps? she's not someone you should continue to make a cornerstone of your life and you would do well to assume that every time you have contact with her it may well be the last. But as long as you can keep such boundaries, just try to enjoy whenever she's around, if she's the only person you hit it off to any serious degree right now then just enjoy her when she's around but try to keep enough emotional distance because she's clearly unstable somehow.

A tough balance to try and maintain for sure but I think it's the best you could do.

That is good advice. Thanks. I think that is what I am trying to do, find a good balance so my day doesn't hang in the balance based on if we talk. It is hard though, for many reasons, especially since I am trying to get my mind to accept that I will be alone forever. It should be super easy to accept. After all, before I met my Russian friend I was dateless and friendless for 17 consecutive years. But, I am having trouble accepting that.

For nearly a year, she really spoiled me. I have known her for 3.5 years, so I guess overall that is not great.


I actually get targeted by scammers a lot. If I am bored, I talk to them to see where it goes. I am always careful not give them enough information to let them know exactly who I am. I figure that if they are talking to me, they aren't scamming someone else, and honestly, it is super nice to have someone to talk to. Even a scammer. Is that pathetic? They are getting more sophisticated than they were 20 years ago, but it is still easy to find holes in their story.

Thanks to everyone who responded. It was useful just to get it out there and everyone gave me useful things to think about.
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