Thanks SP. Yes, I have Amelia and Helen, and Helen is starting to be quite the snuggler at times when I can get her out of her cat condo! She loves that thing! Also, I have my Compassion International kiddos that I sponsor too. One of them, little 7 year old Maxime from Burkina Faso, calls me Mum. That helps. But it's not like I get to hold him in my arms and read to him, and rock him to sleep and watch over him as he grows. I do get to write him letters and I get pictures that he draws back and letters from him too. I have 14 children that I sponsor from 9 countries, so I am blessed that way. I just am not blessed to have my own. Sometimes this mental illness is like a curse!