One of the hardest thing with endings is the lack of closure. It is hard to walk away or move forward in life when there is unfinished business keeping us stuck.

It feels like there is a lot of pain, a lot of things unsaid and some(?) confusion. Maybe you would like to process some more, seeing you ended about 3-4 months ago?

But your desire to ask T 'hey, can we talk' seems a good idea. It might help. As to what to say - anything that is weighing on your heart. A frank, honest, discussion. Maybe (just asking for you to think about, not to post here) consider what you would like to hear back from T? This might also help you formulate what/how you want to say things to her or clarify your hopes or expectations if we were to have a chat with T. I do believe in speaking one's truth, even if things don't work out. This way one won't be holding even more suffering within.

I don't think anger is the answer either (as you write) because there seems to be love here and a lot of pain. So, honouring the pain feels more... authentic.

But I am glad you are taking care of yourself in the meantime. Very painful situation..