In my experience with my former marriage counselor, time was one of the biggest factors. Have you noticed any decrease at all in the amount of time you've thought about her, even if it was, say, 50 times a day instead of 60? Or are you feeling any differently when you think of her, like maybe you're feeling less sad or maybe even smile at an occasional memory? If so, those things would suggest you may just need more time.

However, I'm also going to mention what Lonely suggested--that, as much as you may not want this, it might help to stop contact, at least for a certain amount of time. I feel part of what prolonged my grieving over ex-MC is that I would periodically email him and he'd reply (something short, but still, it was something). So it kept the connection alive and kept me from fully grieving the loss. In one of his replies to me, he BCCed my T, and that really bothered me, so I didn't contact him again for a long time. And I found that helped, and I no longer felt the desire to contact him and didn't think of him much. Maybe it was partly being angry at him for the BCC, but I think the lack of contact helped.

I understand your desire to meet with or talk to your ex-T again to get some answers. I had the same desire. And I never got to do that. But I did get him to answer a particular question over email. It didn't really help. Just keep in mind that even if you do meet with her, it may not help in the way you think it will. It may just bring up more questions or basically start the grieving process over again.

Just some things to think about from someone who's been in a similar place. I'm sorry you're dealing with this...