The question about when did you realize you were gay is clumsy, but it doesn't seem malicious. I have had conversations with by own kids where they talked about that process of figuring things out as they aged, so it was probably more approached clumsily than anything. BUT, that could be an issue you have to decide: do you need a more aware and educated individual there.

I sort of wonder about the counter transference story: was it even a real incident? It sounds rather generic. I don't think she breached any confidentiality issues particularly, and I suppose she was trying to normalize erotic transference. But again, sort of clumsy.

Bottom line: If you are feeling uncomfortable or uneasy about this therapist, then perhaps looking for a better option in the meantime might be a good idea.