Well things are weird right now. My big task has been looming for some time and I've been putting it off because I thought it would not work out. For some reason, today, I decided to take a couple small steps to get that done. I went to one place and they basically said, "Yeah, your worst case scenario is what's going to happen." I freaked out. I assumed that my life was over and that this was the end. I called the vet to check on my dogs vaccination status for kenneling. Then I actually started to feel calm because I knew that what I had assumed was going to happen was going to happen. Clean up my life, get my dogs shots updated and be ready for the end. BUT! I texted my friend who had said they thought it would be easy and they calmed me down and offered other options. So, I went to this other place I do business with and they let me do exactly what I wanted and didn't raise a fuss at all. I wasn't even planning to have my big task done today, or even next week, but here I am, with it completely done. I need to wait for it all to finish out, but by next Friday, things should be OK. Really couldn't have been easier at the second place.

This was literally the difference between living and dying for me. I don't know why things have to be so difficult, I guess to prevent people from making poor choices, but sometimes that's all you're left with.

But, note to self, this is it. I can't keep sitting on the sidelines. I MUST get on with my life. New job, new home, new town. Stop waiting, the universe isn't going to take me on my schedule, so it's time to live.