Quote:
Originally Posted by ArmorPlate108
Hi Etcetera1. Gotta tell you, I am on my big screen today and just realized that was a number and not the letter "l" at the end of your name. Boy do I feel dumb  |
Haha no problem. I didn't notice the typo.
Quote:
Actually.... regarding quieting down the unsettling thoughts, I used the cognitive behavioral technique of literally stopping them when I recognized they were there. I'd actually say "stop" out loud to myself and move thoughts away from it. On those early, long days, I probably said "stop" to myself a thousand times a day. No joke. Like the emotions/anxiety, that settled down after a few weeks too.
It's funny because when you go into these things, you feel like you are starting something that will never stop, but the reality is that it does. That's why it's so hard to go through the process. I could imagine myself spending the rest of my life saying "Stop" thousands of time a day in response to crappy thoughts. But the opposite is true, you build new paths of thinking.
|
Thanks much for your description of the details of your experiences. It helps a lot to know it can be like that. If you told yourself "stop" like that, did it not intensify your emotions for a short time? For me it seems to, but maybe that's just temporary too.
Quote:
|
Another thing that helped me a lot was DBT- have you ever heard of that? it's... dialectic behavioral therapy (sp?). There is a site with the name DBT selfhelp . com. It has some information you might find interesting... or not. The stuff about radical acceptance and turning the mind was probably the most helpful to me.
|
I've heard of it, yeah. Maybe I didn't look closely enough at DBT, but I kind of feel like it's for people with a personality that's the polar opposite of me. I.e. people who naturally have stronger emotions than most people, and don't avoid them and even like to indulge them and will act on them. Like, it talks about things like how to stop acting on urges, and I just don't have that kind of problem. The radical acceptance part would be nice, in terms of not avoiding emotions so much, I guess. Btw, sorry, I didn't get this, what do you mean by turning the mind?
Quote:
|
You know, you might have touched on this earlier, but maybe those numb feelings are that way for a reason? Don't we tend to feel and remember things when it's the appropriate time? Maybe you don't have to try to name them or go at them just yet? Maybe they will come to you when you and they are ready? I don't know, just a thought.
|
That makes sense too and I like your take. I just hope it won't take several more years for them lol
Quote:
|
You should definitely approach your emotions in the way that feels right and productive for you. One thing I'll note is that when I first started doing the lying on the floor, I had a toddler who wouldn't quit and a DH who was starting to experience some issues (but I didn't see it very clearly at the time). I was literally exhausted. Dr. W talks a lot about people suffering exhaustion and not realizing it- which can translate into your head playing a lot of tricks on you. Resting can make a big difference for some people, but then she also talks about conditions like depression and that any type of task, no matter how small, is important to work through that.
|
Yeah, it's kind of complex. Yes I've had the exhaustion into numbness where I didn't even have the capacity anymore to even feel and recognise that I was exhausted. It's not like that anymore, thank god. Anyway yeah, I always had the feeling that I can't just fully shut down as that wouldn't really have been true rest. I've always tried to keep active as much as I could. It's felt a lot like, if I don't keep going then I'll shut down forever. That could've been an irrational concern but it's just how it felt before. I no longer have that either, so it would be nice to be able to relax a bit lol. I'm trying.... I also keep forgetting relaxing and slowing down with the work, have to practice that too. But it's helped me feel better about starting work so that's progress. I hope I can keep that progress and practice slowing down too. Thanks again.