I feel pretty good today. I lost an entire pound since yesterday which puts me at about a 3 pound loss since my doctor raised my topamax last week. I can now fit into my skinny pants pretty comfortably. I am eating but it can be tough with my anxiety and then I have the topamax and not being on the testosterone which often made me hungry. It reminds me of this reality TV show I watch and in one episode a judge asks a contestant how her hair is being held up and she says "hair spray and desperation" its like I'm losing weight from anxiety and medication. Although today my anxiety is not too bad but I did skip the Pepsi products and I just stuck with Coke and I slept much better then the other night. So maybe things are starting to look up. I don't feel too much from being off the hormones either today. Maybe my doctor is right and I won't have an issue. Although I'm not sure what was up with those 2 weeks in November unless it was somehow unrelated. I think that was around the time I had started topamax. I'm not sure. But the reaction doesn't seem to be happening this time

Edit: Well now the good mood has turned into anxiety. I guess its time for my second valium. I was hungry so I got a taco and nacho fries from Taco Bell. I was still hungry after but I just waited for it to pass and now I'm not hungry I'm just anxious. But I don't know about what. I normally take my 20mil geodon around this time too so it could be that. I think I'll turn on reality TV.

Edit again: now after the second valium and second topamax I got nauseated. So I took a zofran and noticed on the label that it says it may cause dizziness. So I'm wondering if thats part of my issue. So now I'm lightheaded and still kinda nauseated but my anxiety is ok for the most part. I did just take my 20mil geodon though. I am not drinking a ton of water because I feel like its contaminated. And no I swear I am not being paranoid. But my anxiety shoots up real bad whenever I drink a lot of it. And its only our own water from the fridge. Any other water is fine. So I have to hydrate with other stuff thats not the best and they told me when I was in the ER I was dehydrated. But if I tell them I'm dehydrated because I think our water is contaminated, that wont end well for me I don't think.

But if anyone has seen the movie Signs I am like that girl with the water issue. And I also leave glasses all over the place too. When I leave cupboard doors open my mom is all like "wtf is this The Sixth Sense?"