I'm just recovering from doing the same thing--going off medication. The same thing happens to me--I feel great for 3 months and then wham, back to serious depression, or anxiety, or both.

I've accepted that I'm going to have to take medicine in order to have a good life. I don't like sending unnatural chemicals all through my body, but I think that's healthier than all the suffering I have when I don't take it., so okay.

That would be harder for you, wouldn't it? If I understand correctly, you are forced by mental processes not totally in your control to think about your medicine being tampered with, and it's not that you've seen somebody actually doing it. Is it possible for you to think about it as probably healthier to go ahead and take what seems like a risk with the medicine, rather than staying the way you are now?