Quote:
Originally Posted by eskielover
From personal experience & also having had DBT for years with my wonderful T.....here is what I do:
When I get emotions I don't desire, I realize that they upset the peace & balance that is normal in my life now. At that time, rather than just let them pass, I analyze the cause & I log it in my mind. Then I let go of the emotion. If it comes up again & I analyze it to be the same cause, then I analyze what ACTION I need to take to stop the situation from happening again. Sometimes I give it more times than others. There is ALWAYS an underlying cause to these negative emotions especially if they keep reoccurring based on the same cause. Taking action replaces the negative emotion though there may be anxiety involved it taking action, it is GOOD ANXIETY, not bad anxiety & is a normal part of taking action in protecting yourself. Residual anxiety may exist for awhile after taking action & the emotion you allowed to "pass" should be resolved by the action. We have to be mindful because sometimes allowing an emotion to "pass" is ignoring a problem. Emotions & anxiety are in us for a reason & that is usually as an indication that a problem exists we need to resolve. Sometimes the resolution does take time & observation & mindfulness as to the best way to handle it.....that is where the radical acceptance comes in....we accept that we feel the emotion is something being felt while we work on resolving the issue causing it.
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Thanks. Yeah, that's how I always was, I always quickly analysed the feeling and made an action plan or took action right away, or I plain dismissed the emotion/feeling if I found it of no consequence.... I needed no DBT for doing so. But now these problematic emotions are really intense and are usually in a vacuum so I can't analyse them. Vacuum means that I don't have any thought or image or anything specific linked to the intense emotions. It's all just in a vacuum and it wants to get in the way of taking action. And I don't even recognise what they are. Sometimes I recognise them as pain or doom or terror, but often I don't recognise them at all. And they don't flow, they are not waves but are "sticky" instead so they don't get out of the way or "pass" easily.
What I'm trying to do now is keep as active as I can but also slow down and relax while doing things/tasks, to give space to these really bad intense emotions. Rather than totally shut down and avoid them (and thus put off tasks while avoiding the emotions) That's helped a bit so far.
I totally agree btw, when I first read about letting all emotions just pass, I instantly thought of, doesn't that mean we fail to resolve actual issues. I guess you are supposed to let only those emotions pass that are past their "expiry date" and have no meaning or useful information in them anymore.