Hiya everyone. I'm doing so-so. Pretty stable. Been learning more on PTSD, im going to try and schedule some EMDR to help process my trauma. I'm not sure Ill be able to though, considering part of it was pharmacological when that SSRI sent me spiraling. Maybe that will help me though since in kind of in a lull with therapy.

Remember when I'd say three things positive after I'd say a slew of negative **** haha. Man, I was so miserable then. Maybe part of it was social media. Definitely that was part of it as I was a habitual line stepper, proppelled by trauma, unconscious of myself. I was so unconscious of my history, of myself, of my circumstance, my environment. I was a ball of chaos haha That wandavision show, her walk of shame at the end, that was basically me as I realized all the chaos I was responsible for. What a mess. What still unsettles me, is, am I conscious now? If I wasn't then, but thought i was, then how do I know now, when I think I am now?! It's cRaZy!

Anyway, I still have some flaws I need to work out, but they're not catastrophic.

I think partly what's been helping me is this spiritual kick I've been on. I'm still on it, but I don't want to post the book I've been currently reading yet until I've finished it. I might reread a chapter because it was so deeply moving and blog it.

Good to read all your posts, guys. I miss you so much = )