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Originally Posted by divine1966
I find it interesting that you considered someone you dated for three weeks a boyfriend and looked at it as actual relationship. And you even needed healing after that ended. 3 weeks into it should be just getting to know someone a bit not actual deep involvement with someone. 3 weeks is nothing.
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It was my first relationship, when very young.
YES, exactly, I needed healing and I didn't know I needed it, so the next relationship just made the emotional injury worse.
You mentioned I seem to get into relationships with dismissive people. Now you are the one who's being dismissive towards me. If you can't empathise about this, then just don't say anything please. Because I don't like this dismissiveness.
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Do you tend to attach to people very fast and have hard time letting go?
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No, the emotional injury wasn't about having a hard time letting go. After that very first relationship, I was always the one who broke up the relationship and the guys would be the ones who would want to stay with me when I told them I'm done.
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like this current guy doesn’t even live in the same country snd wouldn’t tell you his plans but you plan couples counseling and marriage.
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We lived together for years before before he got a job in another country.
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Do you get emotionally attached before you look deeper into if these are even right people for you?
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It's more that I didn't realise what emotional neglect feels like.
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I don’t think if matters “why” he ignores you. The point is that he does. Look into actions. His actions say enough without trying to understand “why”. You’ll never know why. All you can know is why you want a guy like this? It’s not how men in love with their partners and committed to their partners act. Not at all.
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Alright I'll try to be clearer, what I meant is that for a very long time the emotional injury prevented me from seeing what a good relationship would feel like. I don't really know from emotional experiencing as to what it truly feels like, an emotionally good relationship.