It's like I need to fuse my negative self and positive persona. It's because of



and how close I get to that point that makes me think there's everything to lose, nothing to lose

I don't want to be like this.

I thought that in the psych ward, they thought I was attention seeking out of desperation - But I really was having delusions. The line between insight and no insight is can be thin. But I freak out at people.

I separated reality with the vaccine on purpose. I decided to die and go to hell. Now I'm in hell and have to find my way back.

This is all just speculation. What is a real thought anyways. Thoughts aren't real. I'm not real.

Edit: I want to erase my memory. I just need to relax. The fact that I had no awareness of things in the past, it kills me now. It's all real. Every single piece
Edit: No I just need to be calm.