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Originally Posted by Oliviab
I love that you are finding your own third way. And yes, what you said about figuring out yourself and listening to your actual instincts and emotions...that is such powerful stuff. It's coming to trust ourselves, in a way, which is even more important that coming to trust our therapists.
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Thanks, yes I agree that's even more important.
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As to your question...yes, there are therapists who will allow themselves to be vulnerable (still with boundaries, of course, just in a different place than the more traditional approach). Those with a feminist or multicultural theoretical orientation tend to self-disclose more, allow themselves to be known more, and are more open about their vulnerabilities in order to lessen the power differential (not that it is ever gone entirely). I would not say me and my T are "enmeshed" at all, but he shows up human in the room and I would call our relationship more "real" than I've had with any other therapist. For example, when I ask him how he is doing, he will be honest and tell me. And I know a lot about him, including political beliefs and his thoughts about religion (because in feminist therapy, the belief is that the personal is political and our identities and worldviews always matter).
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Yeah, afaik transparency and authenticity are some of the basic principles in good therapy. That could be seen as a kind of vulnerability, and to decrease that risk about there being a power difference. I know I stopped therapy with someone who wasn't transparent let alone human. She herself talked to me like, when I mentioned that, that she's "more impersonal" and "scientific" when she works as a therapist..... It wasn't about being impersonal or scientific, it was about that transparency and authenticity.