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Old Mar 14, 2022, 01:17 PM
*Beth* *Beth* is offline
catches the flowers
 
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
Quote:
Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25 View Post
I woke up depressed. I slept well thank goodness. Fell asleep by 8:45. Yesterday I was hypomanic instead of straight up manic. Very bubbly and constantly joking, but I was also very restless and irritable. My son pissed me off so much because he kept jumping on me. He’s 93 pounds now, my back can’t take it. I live in fear of ending up disabled like I was before surgery. It was so painful. Worst pain of my life.

I think I’m a little upset because I woke up out of a bad dream. It was that I had to have ECT again. I’m so scared of that. I can’t do it outpatient this time because no one can drive me and pick me up. So I’d have to be IP for like a month. There’s no visitation at the place they keep sending me to. It’s so hard being away from my family and not even being able to see them.

I also think the jaw spasm is coming back. I felt it twitch yesterday and I bit my tongue at some point in the place where it was bitten up all the time when the spasm was really bad. I am on a higher dose of vraylar so even though it’s an atypical and less likely to cause extra pyramidal symptoms it definitely could be. Cogentin makes my vision blurry so I can’t take it. I don’t know if any others that could help. I don’t think the vraylar is helping anyway. I’m still swinging pretty wildly.

I’m dressed to go to the gym and I REALLY don’t want to, but I’m going to force myself because my back hurts and I need to stretch it out. Walking or elliptical will help. Plus it’s generally good as we all know to get your blood pumping. Maybe it will ease my depression today.

How did the gym go? It sounds so good to me right now to stretch, really stretch.
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