
Mar 14, 2022, 01:17 PM
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Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25
I woke up depressed. I slept well thank goodness. Fell asleep by 8:45. Yesterday I was hypomanic instead of straight up manic. Very bubbly and constantly joking, but I was also very restless and irritable. My son pissed me off so much because he kept jumping on me. He’s 93 pounds now, my back can’t take it. I live in fear of ending up disabled like I was before surgery. It was so painful. Worst pain of my life.
I think I’m a little upset because I woke up out of a bad dream. It was that I had to have ECT again. I’m so scared of that. I can’t do it outpatient this time because no one can drive me and pick me up. So I’d have to be IP for like a month. There’s no visitation at the place they keep sending me to. It’s so hard being away from my family and not even being able to see them.
I also think the jaw spasm is coming back. I felt it twitch yesterday and I bit my tongue at some point in the place where it was bitten up all the time when the spasm was really bad. I am on a higher dose of vraylar so even though it’s an atypical and less likely to cause extra pyramidal symptoms it definitely could be. Cogentin makes my vision blurry so I can’t take it. I don’t know if any others that could help. I don’t think the vraylar is helping anyway. I’m still swinging pretty wildly.
I’m dressed to go to the gym and I REALLY don’t want to, but I’m going to force myself because my back hurts and I need to stretch it out. Walking or elliptical will help. Plus it’s generally good as we all know to get your blood pumping. Maybe it will ease my depression today.
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How did the gym go? It sounds so good to me right now to stretch, really stretch.
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