I had set a goal for myself last week and that was to shower at least 2 times a week.i kind of failed lol the thing is I did not not shower on purpose I just forgot just like I had forgotten to take my medications twice last week. I am not upset about not accomplishing my goal I am ok with it. I did also set a goal to maintain my house after it was cleaned for me. I have not thrown any garbage on the floor I put away my dirty stuff I have cleaned up and dog food spilled. Today I even cleaned up all the garbage in my bathroom. I have also taken my garbage out ever night instead of letting it sit on my counter till Monday night like usually. To me this is a great victory in my life it may seam small to others but I have never been able to cleanup after myself I am lazy when it comes to cleaning.

I don't know what to do with my living arrangements my wife and I bought this trailer over 20 years ago and we paid it off after 10 years but I still have my lot fees but those are not to horrible. The thing is I have spent like the last 11 years being here with my wife almost every day. Every where I look it reminds me of her. My daughter had suggested maybe a small remodel so I think I am going to do something like that. The other thing is my kid thinks I should move my bedroom to the room at the other end of the house. I actually think it bothers my daughter more then it does me that I still sleep in the room my wife died in. It did take me a couple of weeks till I could even walk into it since my wife passed away. My daughter is really starting to struggle with the death of her mother. I think her mind was occupied with helping me survive. I am still depressed but I am a actual functioning human now. She asked me about her going inpatient and I think it would do her good. The thing is she keeps making excuses to avoid going in. The other thing is she is terrified of needles and it scares her that they would probably have to take blood.
After her mom passed it was not even a month and her girlfriend told her she should be over grieving. Her girlfriend told her the other day that she hoped she died just like her mother had. It really is a toxic relationship. I just keep telling her my door is open.

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