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Originally Posted by divine1966
It is understandable you struggle figuring out what’s good relationship if you never had one. How was your parents’ marriage? Sometimes it stems from how we grow up.
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It was an average marriage, not great, not terrible.
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I still find it weird that after living with you for years and wanting to marry you, he leaves to a different country and it’s unclear when he’s coming back. When did you see him last time?
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I saw him a few weeks ago and he's asked now to meet again. Tbh I understand the job thing because it was a really good job opportunity. What I'm hung up on is more about the inconsistency in his personal attitudes towards me.
To this I will add this actually. I find I get really hung up like this - with anyone, not just with the bf - mainly if the person first did show nice attitudes and seemed attentive, and whatnot. So that inconsistency is where it gets messy for me.
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I didn’t mean to be dismissive, My apologies. I was trying to understand what’s with the 3 week relationship. I didn’t realize it was at a very young age. I see now. At a young age everything seems a big deal
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No problem, glad to have been able to clarify
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Originally Posted by divine1966
I just realized that you already posted about this guy before. I didn’t think it was you.
Him not answering your questions is the least of the problems. This dude is rude, abusive, mean, neglectful and frankly completely disinterested in you and your company. It doesn’t matter why he is this way but this is a very bad relationship in every sense if you can even call it a relationship as it appears to be on and off and kind of non existent. Ruminating over it isn’t going to make into a good relationship. You are being abused and mistreated. It doesn’t matter why he abuses you. There’s no answer to that. Him leaving to go to a different country might be a blessing actually.
If you don’t feel you can make a decision to put a stop to it then check what happens if you just stop contacting him. You might be able to move on and find happiness. See what happens
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I would say that his ignoring me and everything about me was what always caused the worst effects for me before he turned so negative like that earlier this year. So that new negativity is on top of all that... Also I realise that he ignored me before I noticed this happening with that former best friend, but I didn't get so aware of its effects before the best friend.
Thanks for the advice. I do want to try this couples counselling first.