You start off saying you "could have done better as a husband." Then you give examples in which you are always the good guy, and your wife is the unappreciative, impossible-to-please spouse. Your gaming occurred during a "slight phase." You try to sound humble, but you rationalize all your behaviors. You missed some prenatal appointments, but only "due to work." (She has no job, and someone has to earn a living.) If you have portrayed her truthfully, then she sounds like a miserable person to live with. (I'm going by the information you've provided.) I have a bad opinion of your wife, based on what you've told us. At some level, I think your wife is aware of this low opinion you hold of her.

Your post consistently portrays you as the victim . . . until the end where you describe your daughter as being a victim also . . . two victims of this unreasonable woman.

If your wife gasn't gone to a lawyer yet, she's still hoping to save the marriage. A woman who seriously wants a divorce doesn't ask her husband how it's going to be "handled." She addresses that with an attorney. She said that to get a rise out of you . . . to tell you how unhappy she is. She was being provocative.

If everything you do "is never enough," then she must be unreasonable.

You both have the same pattern of communication. That's the problem. Neither one of you expresses yourself without becoming defensive. There's a bunch of passive-aggressive stuff going on here.

Quietly go to a lawyer yourself, without telling her. Have the lawyer advise you on what is the best way to preserve your rights and safeguard your interests. Do NOT offer to move out. Stay in that home, so she can't say you abandoned the marriage. Be less defensive. No man wins a woman's respect by trying to stand on his head to please her. When she wants to start an accusatory back and forth, don't take the bait. Say, "I'm glad you told me how you feel." Then clam up. Think of some good traits she has and let her know you recognize her virtues. Say, "I'ld hate to lose a wonderful woman like you." Don't say, "I've tried my best, but you're never satisfied." Good luck. I hope you preserve the family intact. Never say, "I want us to stay together for the sake of our daughter."