I still hope for a cure some day.

I lost the hope of ever being able to just walk away from it though. Or just have a good mood that lasts the rest of my life, although some of them are pretty long, and I suppose anything is possible. It's kind of a fine line between giving up and hoping enough that you set yourself up for a big disappointment.

It sounds like you've been through an awful lot that you never asked for or deserved. I hope that your recovery gets better and better. At least here and in other support groups you won't be rejected because you're not happy, happy, happy all the time.