I have 8 more years until I can retire from my job with a pension...

And I think those years are going to be miserable. Every day I find myself miserable and dreaming of just quitting selling my home and moving south.

Yesterday I foolishly - FOOOLISHLY -- told my managers of a problem we were facing with another agency. I sent it in an email. I could not believe it when my manger actually took my e-mail and forwarded it to the head of the other agency.

I am beyond embarrased. I wanted her to do something about it, not narc me out. I am so embarrassed.

My prior supervisor left the position and got another job.

Something that I have noticed about this job is that it makes me so miserable... that I have trouble even considering getting another job while i am still here. It feels like i need to have a completely new start (know no one) to be able to have confidence in my abilities.

But that pension.... grr. People say, maybe you need a vacation and maybe I do.. but they have it set up where the person covering for me refuses to do the job and when he "covers" he only does the bear minimum and leaves all the work that he can for me when I return.. so essentially now I have all the work in less time.

Every day I wonder if I am going to make it.

We have to return to work soon and I am afraid one day I will write up a -- I quit letter and drop it on my bosses desk and leave.