Burning Sage, your reflections, to me, are ones from a recovering person. Dang, you HAVE made a lot of progress! Honestly, I'd say that the majority of humans on earth wouldn't show the strength and initiative that you have.

Though bipolar disorder "recovery" is still a work in progress, progress can be measured in many ways. I'm at a stage where I've been mostly stable for a good year and a half under pretty stressful conditions. Ones that would have, in the past, destabilized me. Yes, I must "keep working it" to maintain my current situation and protect myself for the future, but at the same time, I have reached many goals. It's not that I'm "never quite there", even with this serious mental health issue.

I've written a lot about recovery in the past in my blog. One post in particular, if interested.

Surviving and Healing from Bipolar Episodes | My Journeys Beyond Bipolar Disorder