I have been retired for almost a year now. For what you're going through, it sounds kind of like what I had going for me before I quit. I had quit and then retired. I had a job for 15 years that I loved and then it just went to hell in the last few months. It was unbearable for me, especially when the maintenance man retired and the company made me take his place. It was a poor decision by management for me to take his place because I had very little skills in it. The maintenance man and I agreed that it was a bad decision by management for me to take his place. There are times I think it happened that way because the company wanted me out and that was a good way of doing it.

I'm very familiar with that "take a vacation" jazz. It can be a good idea in itself, but your mind will be filled with the dread of having to go back while you're away. So that wouldn't be refreshing for you. At least that's the way it is with me when I take time off from a situation like that. Also I've heard the "just suck it up" jazz, but it's easy for others to say that. It's not easy going through it. It's tough to feel like having to stick something out just because of a nice reward. I get the feeling if you wait for that pension, you might end up disappointed; and then to have gone through hell along with way. With me most times in my life I've ended up disappointed when I waited for something great. So it didn't seem worth it. But that's just me.

Did you say that you own a home? I owned a condo and sold it. I sold it three years ago, long before quitting my job. I felt the same way about owning the condo as I did about my job. It was nice to get that money and I invested in it and it helped a little bit. Since I've retired I've lived on SS and "windfalls" I had from last year that I put away and hardly spent. But the windfalls have been used up by now with just my basic living.

Right now I'm doing OK financially but it can't last much longer, so I have to make a change. If I'm not going to work, then I definitely have to leave where I live now and move to a much cheaper place. Or I could get myself a small job to supplement my SS, but now it seems like it's not easy to get a job.

Good luck to you at whatever you end up doing.