I do think it can retraumatize you. Definitely. I’ve experienced a similar attachment-abandonment relationship with therapists and it’s quite an emotionally miserable thing to go through. I’m not convinced that it’s ultimately necessary or helpful but I will say that I don’t feel that way anymore. I don’t know if that’s healing or just distance from that relationship.

I hope that your BPD therapist is better equipped to help you with the intensity of your attachment needs. Managing the attachment-abandonment quagmire and the client’s associated distress is an area that I think psychotherapy as a field has gotten devastatingly wrong, to the point of being unethical. I hope that one day they’ll have a better model for educating therapists and supporting clients.