Well the cat woke me up at 1am with an asthma attack so naturally I’ve been up since then. My first thought was “oh hell no” so I took another 50mg seroquel, bringing my total up to 200mg and maxing myself out. But no, my body and brain flipped it off so here I am awake at 3:38am. I’m coloring again. Listening to Friends. Not sleeping.

It’s fun. Except it isn’t.

I told RS about my habit of driving my knuckles into my head now and told him to tap me if he sees me doing it. I did not tell him about the head hitting though. I have knuckle shaped lumps on the side of my head right now. I wasn’t honest in group yesterday and didn’t bring it up. I wanted to tell RS first bc my therapist in php tells him everything so I figured I better get there first. I’ll be honest today. I should probably be honest about not being completely med compliant either. But I’m not sure that I’ll do that. I should really take the correct amount of vraylar today even though I don’t think it’s working. It does curb the paranoia.