My moms friend invited her us all over to his house and a couple people showed up.

I'm not able to have a conversation. I thought mostly about



most of the time. It could be the two beers that I had. But I feel like this is the real me - Nihilistic. I just have to give into it. I'm not the person I used to be before I was traumatized. The one that people liked.

But it's always been like this. It's been 10 years of psychiatric help and it hasn't helped. I feel mentally handicapped. I also feel worthless and stupid.