Anger is just an informer of where you have a problem; it's not supposed to be "maintained"! It's just a feeling like the others and when the situation is addressed, it goes away!

Way to go working so hard on looking to find the grey and see multiple points of view. But if your husband hasn't been doing that too, you can use that as your focus; he's not going to be so "comfortable" if he comes back because you've grown beyond him! Your memory of him is comfortable. But his time has passed and he didn't do anything with it to keep up with you. Keep him and his hurtful ways "not always rubbing up against you".

Think of him like contact dermatitis and don't come in contact with him or you'll get blistered, rashes, and itching again, etc. He's a bad chemical in your laundry detergent :-) Look for a better detergent for you