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Old Mar 18, 2022, 11:16 PM
Etcetera1 Etcetera1 is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2022
Location: Europe
Posts: 319
Quote:
Originally Posted by FooZe View Post
Sorry I'm a little late to this thread.

When you're observing (also called "witnessing"), the idea is to just observe. Observe yourself doing (and not doing) exactly whatever you'd be doing (and not doing) anyway, if you weren't observing.
Ah no worries and thanks much. I think this makes sense, yeah so I'm not to try and change anything at all, it's pure observation, no pressure that I should try to feel "more" to see more of the feeling or emotion than what will show naturally by default.

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That you do or don't experience emotions as waves is already an observation.
Yeah, sometimes I get mental observations or notes spontaneously like that and it can help sometimes.

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When you see that an emotion (or a thought, or anything else) is present, notice that it's present and exactly what you're aware of about it. When you call it "on", notice that you're having a thought called "it's on." When you see that an emotion (or whatever) isn't present, notice that you're having a thought called, maybe, "That's funny, it was there a minute ago!" (or yesterday, or last week)
OK, yeah, I think noticing the emotion works okay. I somehow instinctively don't like the idea of noticing the thought that "it's on", etc. It makes me feel like if I tried to do this, it would be like, it would feel like a "schizoid" experience. If that makes sense. Like, too detached from my own self. Maybe I got the idea wrong here, so feel free to clarify if you meant it in a different way.

Also, if I want to take that thought further, it feels like quite some emotions are already kindof naturally detached from what I experience as my self or my agency by default, I mean they are of course my own emotions but there is always a distance from them. But with thoughts that are my conclusions from stuff, from doing mentally "effortful" analysis, I don't want to have that much distance or non-attachment.

The one thing I can do with my thoughts is that I like evaluating them further if I think I need to change something. When I evaluate or re-evaluate them, I do think there is a little distance from them but not too much, just so that I'm not too attached to them, and then of course it can mean I get new conclusions etc. Or I can see that the evaluation shows that I don't need to change the conclusions for the time being.

But when it comes to those emotionally really charged thoughts, that are not a result of deliberate analysis, that's where I get a problem....Because I can't identify with them, often they are undesirable too, so I don't even want to "hear" them. I go and ignore them then. And if they get strong enough that I'm forced to pay attention is when I do have trouble with keeping distance from all of it lol.

That's where it feels like it would be a real advanced skill to just observe and not feel pressure to give in or fight this pressure from the emotions and the linked emotional thoughts.

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You might go, "Right now I'm feeling such-and such emotion; and I'm having a thought called 'I shouldn't be feeling such-and-such emotion', and another thought called 'It's my job to make it stop!', and another thought called 'What kind of person would allow themselves to feel an emotion like that?', and another thought called 'This is way, way too intense for me', and another called 'I'm trying to stop but it's not working'..." <--- Notice that, too, if and when it happens to come up for you -- and then notice what else, and what else, and what else...
Mmm I'm not actually that verbal inside my head most of the time. Would sound too draining. But I get the idea, I think.

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And eventually you'd notice that you kept on going whatever way you were going until you noticed yourself going some other way instead. And feeling whatever way you were feeling until you noticed yourself feeling some other way instead (or maybe in addition).
I see that the idea is that naturally the flow of the emotions and/or thoughts would change on its own?

Sometimes that can happen, sure. It's like, those thoughts are just a few clouds fleeting across an otherwise clear sky. Not really very emotional, or emotionally charged in any way that I can notice. Or sometimes a little emotional but that's okay, I know that those are fleeting so I don't concern myself with them much.

With those strong emotions&emotionally charged thoughts though, it's all too "sticky" for that.

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By the way, the point of observing what you're feeling, thinking, etc, is not to make those feelings and thoughts go away or to change them in any way. It's to simply notice them, acknowledge them, and let them be exactly the way they are, for exactly as long as they are -- and then to see what comes next. If you find yourself "trying to maintain and feel the emotional state as long as you can", you might observe that you're having thoughts called "I'm trying to maintain and feel such-and-such emotional state..." and "I'm supposed to eventually feel drained of its energy." How you'll eventually feel, you'll find out only by noticing how you do feel at the time.
Oh well I know these are intended as just examples, but I want to say that how it really goes like for me is "I should try to feel the emotions as long as I can". The "eventually feel drained of its energy" isn't a "should" pressure like that, that's just something that naturally happens for most of my emotions, so it's just an observation. I think I want to observe that pressure though, and similar pressures about what I should be doing with my feelings lol.

A question too: With this whole mindful observation, is the idea that I accept things and that's already helpful, or is it that I learn more about what's going on and then I can work on things going from that? To feel better overall and have (or regain) better functioning psychologically.
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