Quote:
Originally Posted by ChickenNoodleSoup
Therapists are sort of trained to pick up on defensive mechanisms and might point them out. But that doesn't mean they should want to tear all of them down or even need you to take them down. If you allow me to take your two examples, being detached and being angry:
(....)
In my opinion, you can only develop feeling safe if you are allowed to be yourself, whatever that might look like. I can understand how it was hard to feel safe around therapists who pushed you another direction too much.
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Thanks much for your input again. Yeah, that's the thing, I never felt like I can be myself in therapy. You got that worded really very well. Me being myself was just called having defenses, walls, and not vulnerable enough.
Who knows anymore if that was defenses and walls or just therapists not applying the right, matching framework on my person.
As a result, I still feel a lot of pressure of how I "should" be that I really am just not, just am not that person. I really have to untangle myself from all that.
Ironically enough, one therapist did comment, when I once was truly myself, that she sees how that is actually me being myself. She said it was just some feeling of hers that it was really me. It was...but it was like, I was being active, goal-oriented, decisive, and yeah, that WILL of course, easily come with some anger on the side if I run into obstacles. Not in that moment though, but I bet, if that had been there, she'd no longer have liked it
