I am proud because I am eating more fruits and veggies. It is becoming clear I do not need to eat like a slop and it is getting clear I do not need to be this weight. I feel myself growing warmer instead of colder. And I think I am becoming aware in this frame of time I need to change my ways in dire measure. This is right for I am just so unhappy with myself. I am proud I am able to contest against the inner demons. I have the will and stamina. I am proud finally because my constant suicidal thought (including intrusive thoughts) sort of left. I wonder what down to science caused the shift in mind. I am proud of myself for pushing those overwhelming aside and I have this break from my mundane and ordinary existence, the one that eats me alive every day. I am wildly looking to my freedom. I am proud because I made some jokes in my freedom about some things. They were obviously bad jokes but they brought me to this point. The next steps mean so much and for that I am proud I can carry on to live my very own mundane and ordinary life. I am proud of the woman my mother carried meaning me and I am proud I could ever live as me because my mother is still alive and I must love those searing blue eyes because she is the reason I live. I am proud I told that suicide monster to leave because my Mom is alive and my Mom is worth living and fighting for. Only my Mom could allow this miracle to hit me and strike the landslide of the demons into the abyss instead of me. And so I am glad and proud of myself that I have a great relationship with my Mom.