It’s not just the post pardon depression. That’s is very real and some women have it worse than others. It’s actually more than that in that a woman begins to see things differently after having a child. There is vulnerability with this and more responsibility and yet also a change in personal freedom as well.

From what you share, she is also a stay home mother and that can isolate her in that she is not engaged in life the same way and is dependent. You on the other hand are involved with interactions and more freedoms than her. I know you think you are tied down and carry financial responsibility, but that is a kind of freedom and power she doesn’t have.

From what you share, her actions are reflecting her attempt to have a sense of power. You see, you have both, a child to adore and distance and freedom separate from that. When you are the main caretaker of a child you are witnessing the very beginnings of self discovery. And at first not only a hormonal change takes place but also a lack of sleep in that a baby demands a lot of attention and a mother sleeps lighter to be aware of her child’s needs. So with that there is a giving up of self. It is a very big change inlifestyle that can bring about some deep insecurities and uncertainties.

It’s a big life adjustment. And it’s different for each of you. Your wife is venting frustration and because you don’t understand it you feel it’s rejection.

What if you heard things differently in when she says you may be happier with someone else it’s not a statement but a question. Your reply of “the next step is divorce” was just as good as saying she is no longer wanted and all that did was fuel a deep fear that even she doesn’t understand.

Your reply should have been more reassuring. Instead you unknowingly fed her fears. A child creates change and new challenges and fears. A couple is required to grow despite this change along with the insecurities that come with it. There is a lot of adjustment when it comes to being a young parent. There are insecurities that arise in each that are completely new and confusing.

This pandemic has added even more stress and fears to an already challenging time in a young couple’s life. Women do go through a lot of hormonal changes when they have a child. It’s a very confusing time in a woman’s life.

The things she is expressing are her fears that even she is confused about. Yes things are different now in that you have moved from being a young couple to learning how to be a family. She is expressing the changes yet she doesn’t really understand how to articulate it. And you are confused about understanding and how to respond. And you sure did throw a hot iron on the fire by uttering the word divorce.