Once again, I am freaked out. My new company is now hiring for the role I currently have, and I don't know if that means they mean to replace me as soon as I return to work. I could be let go as soon as I go back.... which would be OK, I guess, since it's SUCH a challenge for me there.

But then I also heard from the VP of my former company - the messed up, toxic workplace I was recently at. He needed info from me regarding a former client I had there. He asked how the new job is, so I was honest and told him I had to take medical leave for a while, though I did not say why that is and gave no additional details. Well, he never wrote back after that.... so I reached out to a colleague from that company who took over this particular client account for me when I left the company and asked him what's up. He hasn't replied either.

So, I am freaking out that perhaps bridges are being broken and burnt, without my even knowing why or how. I could be paranoid too, since I am having auditory and visual hallucinations right now.

How could things have gone from bad to worse?????? I don't understand this. I have prayed so many times for positive changes in my life, and this is what is happening? I am experiencing dark voices again. I had to take a medical leave of absence from my new job, and the meds I am on don't seem to help ALL that much.

I am beside myself with grief and worry. And my husband is freaked out too, so right now I am scared he will throw in the towel and will give up on us and our marriage because of my current condition. I don't think he would do that, but he's hinted around being fed up with what I am dealing with, in moments of sheer frustration and upset.