So. Today was…not good. I dropped a glass and then


So now I feel like the biggest a-hole in the world. Like absolute trash. But it’s only me making me feel this way and I am f—-ing OVER IT.

My clinician in php offered to meet twice a week and walk around the building complex with me if I need it. She gave me some suggestions for when I feel super agitated and restless to get the bad energy out. I can’t always go for a walk, especially if it’s the middle of the night. She suggested throwing soft object at the wall, beating my pillow, trying to push the wall, etc. I’m going to try them. Apparently I can no longer control how badly I self harm. TBH I never really could but this proved it.

The urgent care dr and nurse were very nice, though. So often doctors scoff at people who come to them with self inflicted wounds. I had one say to me “why are you even here, it’s not like you care about scars”. These women both treated me with dignity and respect and I really appreciated it.